I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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