I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
