in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
