I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
