i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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