11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
