I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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