Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
