Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
