CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
