As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize