Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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