it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sobbing to NWA
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
