"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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