Need sex. Gaining weight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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