Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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