Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
