did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize