Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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