You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
