Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
