You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
