I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
