i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
