apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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