Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
