I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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