like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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