I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
