I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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