you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
