His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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