Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
