how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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