He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize