she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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