Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just google imaged poop.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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