Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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