There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
