I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize