you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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