Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
