I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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