things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
