he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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