Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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