woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
