Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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