did you get engaged???
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
