Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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