2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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