I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
