Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
