Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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