guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
