I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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