shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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