We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Randomize
