She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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