We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
