i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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