So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
