Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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