I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
